“You and the group were much help to me the day before yesterday. What I did was dumb and not well thought out. But I was additionally attacked for my appearance an lack of emotions showing which is what people with aspergers have. I brought up the attraction to minor females because firstly I don’t want to go to jail but there was some great insight about why I was drawn in that direction which I am benefiting from. The one man brought up the fact that I suggested to the girl to come see me as ammo whenever the very reason I brought it up was to stop the behavior. It was a monumental bad decision to tell the joke but that’s all it was. So the daughter assumed I was really after her? I didn’t understand a lot of what was going on. I was not subconsciously seeking public shame. I believe your group needed a crucifixion but all the king’s horses won’t fix this one.” – Matt
4 thoughts on “Dojo #86 – Matt’s Letter”
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as someone who just signed up for Dojo i agree with Rebecca. i thought Dojo is going to be about topics that we can bring and share. I did watch the Matt 1 as that was my first and i must say it did take me by surprise as well so no hard feelings on it but im still confused as to what Dojo is ?
To Matt:
As James and others have mentioned numerous times, to really stress the point — you are not kicked out of the Dojo. I’m sure you are aware of that if you’ve been watching, which I believe you have and also from correspondence with James.
I still want to reiterate that not only are you still a member of the Dojo, but I want to publicly show my support in addition to my comments during the Dojo about your return. I stand by my witness and my feelings on your situation. I feel you are genuinely here to better yourself and work on your own electricity. That is certainly what this Dojo is for and I welcome your return. I’m not even sure if this post needs to be said as I know others feel the same way and I hope you were planning on returning already.
Regardless, I can imagine how challenging it might appear to rejoin the Dojo given the nature of your struggles and the comments made by members of the Dojo including myself. I feel everything I said and I support your return.
I too am working on my own electricity and will do so alongside all of my brothers and sisters in the Dojo. That includes you!!
-Josh
Thanks a lot. I was there today. I have realized that I create a train wreck in my life in many different ways. Also with help from the dojo I’ve started to understand that sometimes I invite shame. A couple members seem to keep wanting to know what my thought process was in #83 to create the issue. There was not a blueprint that I was going by. I can be very impulsive sometimes, maybe I get a shot of dopamine that way. If I would have given the pm any thought I would have stopped but most of you are giving me a second chance and hopefully the others will see in time that I’m not the first impression that they might have had of me.
Hello Dojo. I feel it is important to consider the idea that we don’t really know the ramifications of the ‘vacation’ on a person’s ability to BE a witness at all. What if Babylon is busy creating more and more people who cannot be ‘fixed’ and alchemizing the responses to Matt IS the issue of the century to give as much time as needed to have the right posture about.
I’ll share also that it was no surprise to me the Asperger aspect in Matt’s letter. Children grow up to look for aspects in a partner they know from their parents, and my partner for 12 years was diagnosed with that condition 5 years after our separation. Trying to clean up the wake of destruction left behind by people with no sense of responsibility is exhausting! It was only when the children grew up that they understood the reasons for it was not their fault. These cycles are generational. To change a behaviour it first needs to be acknowledged and be backed by an emotional charge. If an emotional charge is not able to be summoned, no breakthrough can happen. The atmosphere seems like AI learning rather than deep learning. The grief I went through about not knowing my father the way my grandmother did, made it possible for me to break free from assuming the responsibility for my Asperger ex-partner. Quantum Rapture is no joke guys. Far from being a Debbie Downer, the Matt experience is super important.