Dojo #62 – A Silver Lining

Great Dojo. I only recently joined, and I’m catching up on past Dojos before I take my own first steps into the Dojo – I’m looking forward to doing so soon.
I wanted to agree with and add to what Jomega and OKC were saying. I watched Owen Benjamin’s streams off and on for a little over a year, and his streams are how I was first introduced to James. I wrote him a letter and mailed it to him with a check contribution for a spot on the “Beartaria” campgrounds last July, and I was “officially bearified” when he read that letter. I’ve been a bit of a loner for most of my life, but I’ve always yearned for a small community of Truth-seeking and self-improving individuals, and I thought I had found such a community with the “Unbearables”.

Owen has always stated that loyalty and trust are very important to him, so it was very disappointing to see him essentially betray James last summer because he was too cowardly to discuss an aspect of AstroTheology (Venus = Lucifer). I stopped listening to his streams not long after that, because his inauthenticity, arrogance, cowardice, and semi-regular strange discussion of sodomy and penises became glaringly apparent. A few weeks after my letter had been read, I shed my “bear” name (ElectricianBear), reclaimed my online identity, and started working towards getting a refund for my contribution.

It took several months of e-mail communications, including Owen trying to shame me for wanting and requesting a refund (juxtaposed to him having stated in at least two past streams that he would gladly refund those who asked for it), but I finally received a partial refund for my contribution ($400/$432). Owen claimed “PayPal fees” when I asked about the incomplete refund, which I shrugged off as his grabbly nature and poor customer service, but I did call him out for being petty when he added in his explanation that he would “start charging me $150/hour for taking up his very important time to read and reply to my e-mails”. I reflected that back to him, stating I would back-charge him $300/hour for all the hours I spent over several months, trying to not only have my e-mails responded to (my first few e-mails were unanswered or ignored) but also jump through hoops to prove to Owen who I was and what the amount of my contribution was. He did not reply after my last reply.

I took James’s “make it expensive” idea to heart throughout that process. I could have let my contribution work undercover energetically, as James so wisely suggested and described in stream #197 (True Man). However, I think Owen projects when he discusses “grabblers”, and he seems to have a weakness for Babylonian magic squares. Because of that apparent weakness, I decided to proceed in the most expensive manner possible for him, and I pursued a refund of my contribution. Maybe I’m just trying to justify being an “Indian-giver” of sorts (I’m just now considering the potential wizardry behind that term…); but I feel like Owen moved the goal-posts several times about what a contribution would mean and include after I had already sent my contribution via mail, and I feel like my witness and trust and loyalty were betrayed, so I don’t have any regrets for the actions or path I chose.

I’m looking forward to entering the Dojo, giving my witness, and eventually opening up and sharing my own experiences and vitriol. Best Apocalypse Ever! Cheers!