The Reptilian Space Pope

If I were a psychopathic cabal with $21 trillion dollars, I would probably build a reptilian space pope. I’d splice the genes of a reptile with a human and create a hairless hybrid simpleton I could control from my cell phone. I’d power it with photosynthesis and keep it under a grow light for charging. I would use some of my trillions to create a mystique with books and movies. I would have complete control of my engineered archetype. I’d experiment with my space pope by inserting it into the collective mind. I’d adjust some dials here-and-there until I had it perfect.

I’d want it to feel benevolent, reverent, and completely disarming. I’d want the public to think it was highly evolved. I’d give it a backstory that it came from the stars and was billions of years older than we were. I’d make it a little shorter to feel less-threatening. I’d give it big eyes like a kitten. I wouldn’t make it too muscular or even too attractive. It needs to feel disarming – like a sleek and sterile butler. My space pope could tell the whole world how bad they’ve been. It would tell us we destroyed our environment and it had no choice but to stop us. My space pope would convince all of us we were incapable of governing ourselves. It would tell us to dissolve our ego and enroll in programs of ascension. It would offer the promise of higher consciousness. It would speak of transcending gender and personal boundaries. It would disarm people psychologically and make them feel selfish to resist. It would install the shame of xenophobia to override our natural defenses. It would recreate the very same prison pyramid we fight today except made out of beautiful crystal. It would distribute fame to anyone who obeyed the signal. It would designate a few humans as prophets and give them secret black-ops information to reveal to the others. It would be a religion of science not faith. It would be dressed as a spiritual movement. It would put the entire planet into a yoke of oppression with everyone smiling. Everyone’s heads would be in the sky instead of looking over our shoulder.

I would consider this reptilian space pope my great work. I might even call myself the wickedest man in the world for inventing it. I would claim to have opened a sacred portal on the magical lake in Loch Ness, Scotland. I would piggyback my space pope on the psychic energy of a magical sea dragon Nessie. I would call my little space pope “LAM,” which is evil spelled backwards. I would leave a sketch so people would know it was my creation. I would do everything I could to make LAM a reality.

All of this I would do, if I was the psychopath Aleister Crowley.

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