A Farewell to Boobs

A Farewell to Boobs exposes NASA’s multi-billion-dollar genital insecurity extortion program led by Congressman Jim Bridenstine. Jim was a Tea Party Congressman whose only position in any field remotely related to space or science was at a Tulsa Air and Space Museum where he lost the organization, $400,000. “The best day for the museum was the day, Jim Bridenstine left.” said the museum’s founder and namesake. After overspending $330,000 on a rocket show, Jim knew he was ready for Congress. He was hand-picked by the Trump administration for his next job as administrator of the world’s largest space agency, NASA.

Within months, Jim had changed his position on climate change stating unequivocally it was caused by man. This would spread to gender equality as Jim decided his mission in life would be to put women on the moon. He explained he was doing this for his 11-year-old daughter who was insecure about her genitals since a woman had never been on the moon. It is unclear if this idea was something hatched by Jim or by Donald Trump, but it took root after hundreds of millions of dollars were delegated for some of the worst concept sketches you’ve ever seen pledging women on the moon a year after anyone who could be held accountable was gone. In Bridenstine’s presentation, you see him poorly utilize neurolinguistic programming techniques as he turns an orbit plan into a sex ritual by describing and massaging a labia in the air to a science class as he describes his long sustaining and controlled thrusts would keep the Orion capsule in near rectilinear orbit. Every word is a direct quote in that last sentence.

It has for the first time given me the opportunity to finally respect Elon Musk as someone more capable of holding a lie in front of a crowd. It’s thick folks. You know it. I know it. Of course, Jim knows it. The entire program was called “unfeasible” two days ago. Several billion dollars are gone as Jim takes a job at Acorn Growth Companies as a second-tier consultant. Even the business world knows what he is. The fact NASA fraud is a successful jobs program makes dismantling this beast impossible. We need to consider NASA public access pornography for roleplaying scientists.

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