This week I tested Ammon Hillman’s idea that Jesus was a predator (leistes in greek). I cover ten interesting ways of reading Mark and Matthew through the cypher of Priapus. From this perspective it would be more accurate to call Jesus a masochist if you had to label him. Christianity was an abstinence cult enriched by the wisdom of syphilis. The Last Supper could be a Dionysian forgiveness ceremony. Jesus could have gone as far as castrating, circumcising himself in a ritual before riding into the Mount of Olives as we explore the ancient Egyptian sex magic at work during the cataclysm of Mount Vesuvius.